#1 Bestseller — Child Psychology
"If only this child came with a manual!"
The Uncontrollable Child
By Matis Miller, LCSW, ACT, DBT-LBC
Even parents of typical children often find themselves floundering. This book gives you clear, step-by-step skills — grounded in dialectical behavior therapy — for everyday parenting moments. For parents, educators, and clinicians.
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A lifeline for parents of dysregulated kids
Written for parents of children with emotion dysregulation — including disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD), ADHD, and ODD — The Uncontrollable Child contains a powerful set of skills based in DBT: mindfulness, validation, limit-setting, and behavior-shaping. Find the balance between acceptance and change, flexibility and consistency, limits and love.
Inside the book
10 things this book will teach you
The Uncontrollable Child is a revolutionary book that will teach you how to…
- 01Balance extremes and become a flexible thinker
- 02Accept your child and his or her challenges
- 03Be a more mindful and present parent
- 04Regulate your emotions and improve communication with your child
- 05Let go of judgmental thoughts and feelings towards your child
- 06Validate your child with specific concepts and strategies
- 07Shape your child's behavior through use of rewards, praise, and charts
- 08Decrease your child's problematic behaviors
- 09Set, implement, and maintain limits for your child
- 10Balance the needs of your "uncontrollable child" with the rest of the family
From the readers
Parents say it's the manual they'd been waiting for
"Finally a parenting book that doesn't make me feel worse. The skills work — bedtime is no longer a war."
Parent of an 8-year-old
Verified Amazon reader
"I'm a school psychologist and I now recommend this to every family I work with. Practical, kind, and grounded in real DBT."
Dr. R., school psychologist
Verified Amazon reader
"Reading this felt like someone finally understood our home. The validation chapter alone was worth it."
Mom of a child with DMDD
Verified Amazon reader
"Clear, compassionate, and immediately useful. I've highlighted half the book."
Dad of two
Verified Amazon reader
"We went from daily meltdowns to actually being able to talk things through. This book changed our family."
Parent of an ADHD teen
Verified Amazon reader
"The limit-setting framework is gold. Calm, firm, loving — exactly what I was missing."
Foster parent
Verified Amazon reader
Praise
What experts are saying
An excellent book — research-based, common-sense, and applicable to all children and their caretakers. Read it, try it, and watch yourself change!
President, Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy; Clinical Professor, University of Pennsylvania
Enormously helpful for parents struggling with out-of-control kids. Grounded in research with practical, useful advice. Buy this book!
The Gottman Institute — author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
A deceptively easy-to-read masterpiece weaving behavioral theory, dialectical principles and DBT into loving, effective parenting strategies.
Associate Professor of Psychiatry, University of Massachusetts Medical School
Clear, thoughtful concepts and effective navigational tools for the most challenging parenting issues — beautifully balancing acceptance and change.
Director, The Cognitive Therapy Center of NJ — author, Disarming the Narcissist
Highly practical, evidence-based strategies grounded in a deep understanding of the balance between love and limits. Highly recommended.
Straus Chair in Psychology and Education, Azrieli Graduate School, Yeshiva University
Free download
The 5-minute tantrum de-escalation cheat sheet
A one-page DBT-based script you can keep on the fridge — exactly what to say (and what to skip) when your child is escalating. Get it free, and we'll send a short series of parenting notes from Matis.
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The Uncontrollable Child
★★★★★ 4.7 · 500+ reviews